I’m not sure how to write this. I’ve been struggling for the last two years against what I want, and what I have. The conflict between big dreams and lack of resources. Knowing something is out of reach does not make the desire disappear. And of course, we’re bombarded with the message that even big dreams are attainable if you simply work hard enough, sacrifice enough, want it bad enough.
It keeps the belief that it is possible, alive. Which is a rather cruel joke, because it keeps the conflict alive between wanting the big dreams and knowing the realities make it impossible.
All you have to do is work at it hard enough for long enough, right? Sacrifice more.
Except in horses…
I’m at my breaking point both financially and mentally. Both horses look fantastic. Literally shine. Shiniest little shits in the state.
Both are lame. Utterly and…
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