Nemesis Next II

jbuss Astrology

A reader contributes a Dream…

I was with my first lover (we had a very sweet relationship, but I got married to someone else and though we tried to keep our friendship, it went sour towards the end)… in the dream we held each other and it was very sweet and intimate and a feeling of pure joy and happiness being there in their arms.  And in my dream I said to my daughter… I have never loved anyone as much as I loved them… if my parents were not completely against me marrying them we would have been together.

“I don’t think I have any regrets of not marrying them… I would not have been where I am, and my parents may have been right as to stereotype what my life would have been like with them… but who can tell what anything coulda/woulda been right?”

Yes, Dreams…

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Message: Midheaven

Living Life in Between

So a 48 hour reprieve and I woke in tears again this morning. I wanted to write an extremely short post that said, “I can’t take it anymore. Goodbye.”  But then thought it might be taken the wrong way. Can’t have that, right? This agonizing, torturous whatever-it-is that I and others are going through reminds me of scenes from movies where they are torturing people to get them to confess. First they take off each finger nail, then the fingers, then the whole hand. In between the agony they make you feel like it’s going to be okay, it’s over and you can relax but just when you do they come at you smiling and say, “What’s next? How about we strangle you for a while?” lol

For some reason I am reminded of the film, The Railway Man, and the torture scenes from it. Great movie. For me…

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Treatise

Trudi Murray Art and Illustration

Black and white illustration of a male modelI had a dream last night in which someone wondered out loud to me, accusingly and in front of a sneering crowd, whether being an artist was indulgent. It was one of those naked in public dreams, you know the sort. In the dream, shocked and feeling attacked, I ran out into the garden, crying, and wriggled my toes in the grass and stretched up to the sky (like in a Sun Salutation!), as if to demonstrate that I belonged in this world. It was a little unsettling, as dreams go.

I suppose when you’re in the business of making art you are naked all the time (I’m not actually naked sitting here at my desk writing this, I am wearing jeans and a t-shirt and a cardigan covered in cat hair and stripey socks, just to let you know). Putting work out there, on the internet and in real life, is the…

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