Sometimes my dreams are not dreams at all. Sometimes they are memories. Other times they are songs. This one came to me today of an old song from long ago. Since it just will not let me go, I thought I would give it to you in a post. I interpret it as an omen since it originally came to me in a time of major shifts and upheaval in my life. I suspect it portends the same now.
I hope you enjoy the gift it brings to you.
A few nights ago, I had a dream. And in this dream, I woke up… only I was still asleep (Bear with me!) I was running through the ever-expanding garden of a house I once lived. The trees swayed silently in the cool summer breeze. The grass a vivid green, albeit a little overgrown. My heart pounded in my chest like the drum roll of anticipation, racing through my veins. As I continued to sprint through leafy shafts of green, I repeated over “Do not wake up! Do not wake up!” For there, in front of my eyes, was a man I recognised – only so well – yanking up weeds with an old trowel. “Dad!” I called out, waving my arms to catch his attention. He looked up from the small mound of earth and mopped his bead-speckled brow. For a second, we just gazed at each other, awestruck and vacant of words. But then we ran into each other’s arms and allowed 7 lost years to fill the void in our heart. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the daughter I should have been!” I wept, feeling his large comforting hand cup my head to his shoulder. “Amanda,” He whispered, “I am proud of you!” I gulped back the lump that had clawed its way up into my throat. “I don’t judge you, never have!” he said, “If you’re happy, then I’m happy too!” Fron: 2017, I’m ready for you!
Rarely do I post one of my own dreams any more. Though they can be vivid, they are often forgotten before I can write them down. This one survived.
I was visiting a shopping mall that, “in real life,” became defunct years ago. Somehow, some of the stores had survived or maybe had been resurrected or re-opened. In particular, a Morgan and Lindsey store I visited years ago was in business again. (M&L was a “five and dime,” a precursor to the modern “dollar stores.”)
The store resembled an upscale bookstore I also visited many years ago (apparently now also out of business, shuttered by competition from larger stores such as Barnes & Nobles as well as Amazon), and mostly dealt in rare vinyl records and sometimes CDs or tapes. In particular, they had a rare EP by Renaissance (lead singer Annie Haslam) with Carpet of the Sun on one side and Ocean Gypsy on the other. I woke up, saddened by the loss of these many old stores and places and one of my favorite bands. However, in researching the links for this entry, I did discover that Renaissance is back together again. Maybe time to buy a copy of their latest project?
Let’s be clear: it is a dream about loss and growing old. I suspect, too, that it is a dream about death, particularly of places and things around me as well as people and, eventually, my own. Maybe it is suitable for a dream between the Winter Solstice and the Capricorn New Moon.